Have I come to Haiti to learn of love? And how can three days seem like three weeks?
“What is your name?” I asked. "Her name is Lise. She understands English but she cannot speak it." “Lise. How do you spell that?” I asked.
“L - I – S – E: The four most beautiful letters in the alphabet.” He said. Watching them, you see it. Love. Not just any love. It’s different. They have been married for many years. One son. One heart.
You can easily watch him as he is protective of his treasure. You can easily see her taking care of him as her husband. You can easily see them share this love they share. This life they share.
He is a pastor and a surgeon and an over-all amazing man. Wise. Deep Well. She randomly breaks out in song, and her service is never ending. But she is strong and commands respect as she walks into the clinic she manages. His clinic. Their clinic. The people they have ministered to since the earthquake are in the hundreds. In food, clothes, medical care, and prayer. Together. As a team. Serving.
Loving through serving. It has been heavy on my mind lately and right before my eyes. And I think…….hmmm, this might just work. I’m a bit jaded when it comes to relationships. Having loved and lost (as many have), witnessed heartbreak in relationships around me, seen bad marriages often, seen good marriages rarely, frequently playing referee in my office in marriage sessions, when what I really want to do is pull my hair out. It just doesn’t seem that hard. But it is. Or is it? Maybe it’s just about serving. Maybe it’s just about surrender. Surrendering to our will to love the other person as God would if He were here. We are the most unhappy when we are the most selfish. And you can find pride and selfishness at the root of almost all marital unbliss. I believe with all my being that the purpose of marriage is to find someone you can love God with deeply rather than seeking someone to help us feel more love-able.
Yes, I’m seen as strong and bold and independent – the secret is that every woman just wants someone to lean into. Someone to catch her if she falls. To protect her from the evil in the world. Especially the strong and independent ones. They fall a lot, I hear : )
“Loving is not about getting. It is about protecting the one you hold the closest. If I am a good man I will protect my wife and children. I will make sure they feel loved. Above God, that is my greatest responsibility. My wife is a strong and beautiful women. She is not weak. She has the power. The power to make me a strong man or a weak man. And she makes me a strong man”
Wow. Loving by serving. Through serving. Reminds me of a man long ago with a towel and a water basin. Yeah – I think we could learn a lot from that man. And His Father. And the people of Haiti.